When I started MindMatters, the sole purpose was, is and will continue to be creating conversation on mental health. My story, my struggle is rooted in grief and the death of my brother. This is what affected me but we don’t all have the same stories; we don’t have the same experiences. Life is a journey and we all take different paths in life, learn different lessons.
This platform is about creating a space for conversation, a community of compassion and for this, every aspect of mental health, every perspective needs to be given a voice. This is my attempt for the same.
Before I get into this letter, there is something very important I want to say
No matter how you identify, no matter what your orientation is.
This is a safe space. I see you. You are valid. Your experiences, your feelings, YOUR LOVE IS VALID. Everyone deserves to know they are valid, they are wanted, they are loved and I promise you, MindMatters- this space, this community, me- will always make the effort to make you feel that. You are valid.
From the moment we are born, we have been placed into roles that have been scripted for us and we are expected to follow them. Drifting away from these pre-decided roles most times are met with dissent and anger, it could be your family, it could be from your friends, it could from your religion. This dissent, forces us into a cage we create for ourselves. Sometimes, we punish ourselves thinking there’s something wrong with us.
You fear what your family will say, you fear what your circle will say, you fear what your God will say. So you hide, you hide every urge, you hide every emotion and you hide your pain.
It’s a battle in your head, who you need to be for those around you and who you want to be for yourself.
It’s not easy, and sometimes you find yourself gravitating to ways to numb the pain. It’s exhausting living two lives but not everyone has the privilege of being able to be OUT, it could be because of the family they belong to, the country they live in, the religion they follow whatever the reason- this letter is especially for you.
There are going to be times when you feel it’s the end of the world, the burden of living two lives will start to suffocate you but there will be a light. There will be rainbow hands reaching out to you, embracing you in the warmest of hugs and you will breathe that sigh of relief.
You will find your people, I understand that you might not be in a situation where you can live your true self, or you might not be ready or you might still be figuring it regardless you will find your rainbow hands that will keep you safe.
So please hold on, it will be hard but I promise you, you aren’t alone. Hold on for us because we cannot wait to love you.
I am learning, I am trying to understand.
I don’t know everything that you want, that you need but I want you to know
That I am willing to learn, I am willing to listen.
I might not ever understand what you’re feeling but I promise, you won’t have to go through it alone.
Before I end this letter, there’s something I think it’s very important to say.
To everyone out there that identifies as Lesbian,
To everyone out there that identifies as Gay,
To everyone out there that identifies as Bisexual,
To everyone out there that identifies as Trans,
To everyone out there that identifies as Queer,
To everyone out there that identifies as Intersexual,
To everyone out there that identifies as Asexual,
To everyone out there that identifies as Pansexual,
To everyone out there that identifies as Aromantic,
To everyone out there that identifies as Non-Binary,
To everyone out there that identifies as Gender fluid
I truly hope I haven’t missed anyone, I understand this is a spectrum and there’s no actual laid down boundaries
But to all of you out there, thank you for showing me what is strength and what is courage. Whether you are out or not, you are an embodiment of strength and I will always have respect and love for that.
I have been privileged to get chances to learn from such extraordinary individuals, and I have to admit, I knew nothing what your journey was, what your struggles were and I am sorry. I need to do better and I will do better.
Before I conclude, it must be said:
I am not claiming to understand your pain, your struggles. Everything that I’ve written are my understanding from the accounts from people who’ve trusted me and shared their stories. Out of respect of their wishes, I have not disclosed names. They’ve seen this letter before it went up on the website, and has only been posted after their approval.
To the one sitting in a corner, wondering if you’ll ever be brave enough to be out, you are already brave, you are already an epitome of strength never doubt that. Those rainbow hands are waiting to embrace you and they will wait till you are ready.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be, you are exactly who you are supposed to be and you’ve been placed on this earth to be that person.
Love and light to all,