I had taken a step back from MM in the past couple of months to try to catch up with everything else going on in my life and I found it too hard to handle everything together.
It became too overwhelming for me to do everything else in and handle this space.
I am slowly trying to get back into this routine so I can only hope and pray for your patience and understanding.
In all the hustle and bustle of life and MindMatters taking off the way it did, I didn’t even realize how long a break I took from writing.
So here’s me trying to go back to the roots of it… the way MM really started. A little blog of letters I wrote and shared without knowing if anyone would ever see them let alone read or use them.
During a random scroll of social media, I read a quote today that stood out. In fact, it’s still ringing in my head.
“Time doesn’t heal all wounds.
The work you do does.”
I couldn’t help but try to apply these words to my life and introspect a little.
Has time done anything to make the pain any easier?
Have I done any work to make the pain any easier?
Will it ever get easier?
How do I know if it’s worth doing the work?
These questions flooded my head.
The answers weren’t all that pretty at the first instance.
To be completely honest, it overwhelmed me.
You could call this little write up a result of it.
Now these answers.
I’m going to spare you the details of the anxiety attack those questions led to at 2am for me
But as I navigated that very attack with the tools I learnt from the work I have done over the years, I understood something about those questions…. About that quote.
Even though years have passed, I still have my days of weakness.
You might too.
In these moments of weakness, you might question if anything you’ve done… the so called “work” meant anything or if it was all pointless.
I say this because it’s what came to my mind.
You wonder if the work you’ve done will ever stop these attacks for good.
You wonder why even with so many loved ones around, you often find yourself alone and battling these demons on your own.
You wonder if it’s better to just not feel.
You wonder if it’s worth keeping the fight going or is it easier to just let go.
If an attack of that magnitude had hit the Sneha from a couple of years ago, that version of me would not have known how to handle it. I can’t say how things would have turned out.
This very realization answered every question for me.
Had I not done the “work” I couldn’t have handled what happened tonight.
And “work” to me….. it’s taking it a moment at a time.
You define what “work” is to you but that is what it is to me.
We are a consequence and reaction of all the experiences and situations we have lived through in our lives and we will continue to evolve as time continues to pass exposing us to more experiences. That is simply how life is. We continue.
But that doesn’t mean down the line you won’t get stuck in the past for a few moments.
That is also what life is.
I guess the moral of my ramble is that the quote raised some questions and this is what I am trying to remind myself.
Healing comes in moments.
Progress comes in moments.
Happiness comes in moments.
Sadness comes in moments.
Creativity comes in moments.
Growth continues through all of these moments.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for sticking around.
Love and light,